The New ONYX.

www.onyxbeauty.wordpress.com

Always with you,
Tarshel

When the night sweats began, I thought it was just a bad case of PMS.
When fatigue hit, I thought I need more supplements, sleep and sex.
When the intolerance to heat started, I thought I was entering menopause.
When the acne started I thought I needed a cleanse.
When peopled started noticing weight loss, I thought
they needed glasses.
When my menstrual cycle stopped I knew I was entering menopause.
When insomnia hit I thought I was drinking too much coffee.
When my hair thinned and subsequently my  locs fell out, I ran to the doctor…..

In February, I was diagnosed with Graves Disease, an autoimmune disease
that attacks the thyroid gland and creates Hyperthyroidism. 
I'm still struggling with knowing I have a disease for the rest of my life.
Treatment is evasive…I’m scared of a radioactive iodine cure and
 I’m scared of surgery, I’m also scared
of taking medicine that may or may not help. 
But as I check my blood pressure and it reads 152/80 and when I
cant sleep at night and subsequently I’m tired all day and when
I’m walking around in 30 degree weather
without a coat, I know I need to find a cure.

 I take supplements, I eat veggies and drink green juice , I
and cleanse...….etc etc. But Hey I’m still sick. Why?
 I was doing all the right things. Sure I had a turkey
burger every now and then and I drink coffee, but my diet is mostly vegetarian and whole foods. I know I
need to exercise more and reduce stress….who doesn’t

So, lately I haven’t cared about my diet, hell I’m losing weight without trying….
one good side effect. So I’ve indulged in brunch pancakes, and bagels and to get to sleep a cocktail….
Yeah I know BAD GIRL…in some ways I’m in defiance.
I’ve done the health thing and still I’m sick….... But really I’m tired….
yep my strength has dwindled.
I’m tired of being strong. Hey Black women are not suppose to admit that they are tired and not strong.
Well I’m saying it. I’m tired.
And I’m angry that I’m sick and gotta make some hard decisions soon.
What if I take radioactive treatment?
Will that kill my chances of ever having a baby? I know 35 and still haven’t, but
what if I meet that brother that I just love to death that I want to produce life with him?
What if….What if I go ahead with surgery
and hell shit surgery has it’s own consequences.
 My goal was to never ever have my
body cut open or any body part removed.
Now that is possibility. So I’m adding scared to the list with
tired and angry.

I learned that I inherited the disorder. My grandmother also has Graves Disease. 

I didn't know and so I lived with symptoms for 8 months
and never really thought to ask my mom about
our family health history. But I did and now have a better understanding of why and how?


My reason for this post is to say:

Learn your family health history!
And be proactive with your Doctor. My doctor misdiagnosed me twice,
I demanded tests and thus I finally got the correct diagnosis
And finally pay attention to your body if it seems weird check it out.
 DON’T dismiss symptoms!
One more finally, demand a full physical and mammogram yearly. 
Don't just get the typical tests....diabetes and cholesterol.
Demand  full blood and urine tests. Keep copies of your results!


I promise to get ONYXBeauty back up and running and post more often.

I’m still with you (just a little tired, angry and scared ) on your journey,

Tarshel 

In Case of Emergency

Two of my best girlfriends traveled this month on business trips. Both left “In case of Emergency” instructions with their families. Both are not seasoned travelers and have a fear of flying. So naturally they think and plan for the worse, what if or ICE.

I'll never understand why folks plan for ICE when they are going on vacation or travelling. Moreover, why is the "what if" apart of their psyche while stepping on a plane? And why do folks have more faith in their daily driving commute than they do a plane ride?

Truth is, if you’re on a plane and it crashes you’ll probably die. Not many people survived plane explosions. However it is also true that you'll probably die in a car crash rather than a plane explosion.

I’m perpetually optimistic. One time a guy I was dating told me I was gullible. He told me "the world isn't a nice place" and suggested that I "be harder."

I’m not gullible, I just believe that what we say and believe—words and thoughts manifest in our lives. I believe in good, truth, honesty and love. I know bad exists, hell I’ve even been bad, I just want good around me and in my thoughts and life. I know the world isn't nice, I just try to have my world be nice. When I get on a plane, I say, “damn everyone is lucky I’m on this plane”

Don’t get me wrong, I worry and I have my fears. Last week, intense back pain sent me to the hospital ER. I was worried and afraid. I felt so alone. The ER is a scary place and even more terrifying when alone. I don’t have a fear of flying, but I do have a fear of hospitals…. well it’s more like hatred. But instead of worrying about the worse, I kept telling myself that I was just battling a little illness and that everything would be okay. Even when I couldn’t walk cause the pain was so intense, and I was in tears I knew I’d be okay.

In the end all was okay I was treated and released. However, I realized that my loved ones didn't have my ICE information. So I decided to join my my girlfriends and put together my ICE kit and give it to a few people who are dear to my heart. I also urge you to do one as well.

I'm not saying "what if" or to worry about ICE, I'm saying just get that out of the way so you have no excuse to think about ICE when your say sky diving, or on a plane or driving home.

Remember if you're gonna pray don't worry.

With you on your journey,

Tarshel

Procrastination

I know long time and no hear from me. ONYXbeauty is on my to-do list everyday. But time, day-today responsibilities, plain ole laziness but most of all procrastination has kept me from posting. I'm the biggest procrastinator I know. I let bills sit and then boom late fees or I'm rushing to pay online. And everyone who knows me know I love to sleep. So yep, I hit the snooze button and get up at the last possible moment, and even though I hate to rush I usually wind up rushing or leaving the house w/o make-up cause I just had to sleep. I left for work at 8:30 this AM and while walking to the train, I called my best friend (we talk everyday). As we were chatting she mentioned are you close to the office? " Nope I am on my way to the train station to get to work, (I live an hour away) yep I 'm gonna be late, I'm having one of those mornings." Shelly responded "When you start teaching you can't be late to class." (This Fall, I'm teaching a college credit class, yep I'm adding to my repertoire of jobs (smile)

Procrastination is my worse habit and it leads to some many other habits. Like poor time management. So as I sit here pondering what next to tackle in my journey towards wholeness I realize I need to conquer procrastination and learn the value of time management so I can enjoy my life (and sleep:) without worry. And most of all really use my Franklin Covey planner.

With you on your journey,

Tarshel

Here is the text to an email sent to me by a colleague:

Day-Timers Time Management Study: It Pays to Plan!

In our survey of 1,000 American workers, we found that most people do not write schedules and prioritize tasks for daily work on a regular basis. However, there are significant differences among workers who plan their day versus those who don’t! For example:

• PLANNERS: Often have professional job titles (doctor, lawyer, teacher, etc.) or are top-level managers.
• NON-PLANNERS: Hold more manufacturing and manual labor jobs.

• PLANNERS: Typically have personal incomes over $10,000 higher than non-planners and household incomes nearly $13,000 more.
• NON-PLANNERS: Usually earn less than people who organize and plan their days.

• PLANNERS: Participate more regularly in exercise and fitness activities and have many health-related goals.
• NON-PLANNERS: Are not as likely to exercise or participate in any fitness activities.

• PLANNERS: Usually have written goals and prioritize tasks 3 or more times a week.
• NON-PLANNERS: Hardly ever keep written schedules or prioritize tasks.

• PLANNERS: More often rate themselves as extremely or very successful.
• NON-PLANNERS: Generally regard themselves as not very or not at all successful.

In addition, 48% of our respondents report spending more time in a typical day reacting to problems or doing unplanned tasks, while 52% spend more time completing planned tasks or proactively planning for future projects. But does this productivity factor make a difference in people’s lives? Yes, and the impact is surprising:

PROACTIVE workers – people who make things happen – are more likely than their reactive counterparts to:

• Have a college degree
• Report accomplishing more of their planned daily work (72% versus 54%)
• Have a written schedule and prioritize tasks at least 3 times a week
• Have written goals in the areas of finances, self-development, social life, and retirement
• Exercise 3-4+ times a week and indicate achieving their health-related goals
• Do no work outside normal working hours
• Report an excellent/very good health status
• Rate themselves as extremely or very productive
• Rate themselves as extremely or very happy

REACTIVE workers – people who wait for things to happen to them – are more likely than their reactive counterparts to:

• Always or frequently feel rushed
• Get coffee/tea and tackle the easiest task in the first half hour at work
• Spend more time (14%) in meetings
• Check/reply to e-mail and voice messages at home outside normal working hours
• Report a fair/poor health status
• Have been diagnosed with/treated for both depression and anxiety
• Rate themselves as not very or not at all happy

The change of seasons and GOALS

Goals are so important. I just came from a meeting to check in with my boss and see "how things are going" a dreaded question if you haven't been working on achieving your goals.

Anyway, in the beginning of Spring, I decided to celebrate the warmth and new season, I was going to do a spring cleanse. I brought my herbs, Cascara to clean out the colon, Aloe Vera to help with gas and for my skin, Chlorophyll to help deodorize the system, and Milk Thistle to rejuvenate the liver. ......Well ladies, it's almost the start of summer and I haven't even opened the jars..........

Once again, I tend to everything else, work goals even the goal of having a tequila shot every other week with my girls, but not to my health. So today since I'm going public with my blog, I am setting a goal to do a week of spring cleaning starting tomorrow June 6th. I'm gonna eat light (mostly 80% raw foods,) and giving up bread, cheese, and junk food, take my herbs in the AM and PM and drink at least one gallon of water per day. I'll let you know how it goes.

There are three weeks left in Spring? What did you want to do this Spring season that you haven't done yet? Whatever your goal may be--- get started. And share your struggles, triumph and outcomes with us.

So here's to setting goals!

With you on your journey,

Tarshel

Why ONYXbeauty

It was about 2:30 a.m. I was sleepy and a little tipsy after a fun night out with my girls. I put the key in the lock, turned the ignition and got ready to put the car in drive when I noticed the red BRAKE light. I stalled, and waited about 5 seconds; usually the lights pop on then pop off. This time it didn't. I checked the emergency brake handle, yep I it was all the way down. What was wrong?

I thought to myself “let the car warm up and it will go away." However, the car didn’t need to be warmed up; the temp on an unusual May Chicago night was 75 degrees. So I put the car in drive and drove home. During my 15-minute drive, I was so nervous. Worried about what was wrong and how much new brakes would cost? When I arrived home, I ran to bookshelf to find my owners manual and look up what the brake light meant in layman’s terms.

The book specifically said the car may need brake fluid and or the brakes are faulty and need repair. Translation—GET TO A SERVICE MECHANIC PRONTO.

I’m a typical woman; I don’t know all the ins and outs to my car. In fact I just realized after 7 years that I have a light in the trunk… But I do remember to change the oil, check fluids when I gas up, I listen for weird sounds, watch the signal lights and write in my planner the dates I should have my car serviced. Usually that is twice a year-- spring/summer tune-up and winter

So at least twice a year my car sees the car doctor, and goes through rigorous testing to make sure everything is working ey-okay. And in-between my car ( my car doesn't have a name) gets cleaned, oiled up and refereshed.

Okay, now on to the real issue: when was your last doctor appointment to check out that everything is working ey-okay? And for the ladies when was your last GYN appointment and finally the dreaded Dentist appointment?

During the last three years, I've spent more time at the auto mechanic than the doctor. Last year I spent many days in the dentist chair because prior to last year, I hadn’t been to the dentist in 5 years. What’s wrong with that? EVERYTHING! I take care of my car better than I take care of me.

I must admit I hate doctors and hospitals. I tend to go when I must, and usually a pain makes me jump up and run. But, like cars, we need to be serviced (physically, mentally, spiritually).

Our health is our greatest wealth. It’s a cliché cited all the time, but it’s true. Without health, what can we do, work for, dream in?

This blog is a discussion about holistic health and living...About making you a priority....It’s about finding balance and peace with life, living healthy and just plain ole loving life. Holistic living is about balancing all the parts of your life. Yep physical health is a major part. But, spirituality, mental maturity, friendships, love, sex all contribute to our overall physical well-being.

Seeing a doctor is one part of the puzzle, but I mention it because it's a part of the puzzle that's usually missing and only found when necessary. I haven't been to the doctor, but I've had facials to keep my skin looking good, colonics to clean out, new shoes, clothes and new lipgloss to make me look stylish. All are an important part of my well-being, but as I write this I don't truly know what is going on inside of my body. Additionally, my desk is filled with un-opened bills, and un-read New York Times.

I believe that holistic health is a combination of balancing our mental, physical and spiritual lives to enjoy a peaceful loving existence. I've been negligent in some ares and strong in others. Overall, I've learned that life is more about the journey, rather than the destination. So I know striving to live holistically can sometimes be difficult, filled with questions, and doubts. For instance:

How is your affair with the gym? Or other workout activities. What’s on your grocery shopping list? When was the last time you had good sex that made you burn calories? What’s going on in your closet, is everything too small? How are your friendships? How is your relationship with God, the Creator, or higher power? And have your embraced a new lipstick color to go with the season or are you stuck with the same ole color?

ONYXbeauty is a blog for us to discuss, question, analyze and learn from each other about each of our holistic paths towards a life filled with love, peace, prosperity and happiness.

With you on your journey,

Tarshel