When the night sweats began, I thought it was just a bad case of PMS.
When fatigue hit, I thought I need more supplements, sleep and sex.
When the intolerance to heat started, I thought I was entering menopause.
When the acne started I thought I needed a cleanse.
When peopled started noticing weight loss, I thought
they needed glasses.
When my menstrual cycle stopped I knew I was entering menopause.
When insomnia hit I thought I was drinking too much coffee.
When my hair thinned and subsequently my  locs fell out, I ran to the doctor…..

In February, I was diagnosed with Graves Disease, an autoimmune disease
that attacks the thyroid gland and creates Hyperthyroidism. 
I'm still struggling with knowing I have a disease for the rest of my life.
Treatment is evasive…I’m scared of a radioactive iodine cure and
 I’m scared of surgery, I’m also scared
of taking medicine that may or may not help. 
But as I check my blood pressure and it reads 152/80 and when I
cant sleep at night and subsequently I’m tired all day and when
I’m walking around in 30 degree weather
without a coat, I know I need to find a cure.

 I take supplements, I eat veggies and drink green juice , I
and cleanse...….etc etc. But Hey I’m still sick. Why?
 I was doing all the right things. Sure I had a turkey
burger every now and then and I drink coffee, but my diet is mostly vegetarian and whole foods. I know I
need to exercise more and reduce stress….who doesn’t

So, lately I haven’t cared about my diet, hell I’m losing weight without trying….
one good side effect. So I’ve indulged in brunch pancakes, and bagels and to get to sleep a cocktail….
Yeah I know BAD GIRL…in some ways I’m in defiance.
I’ve done the health thing and still I’m sick….... But really I’m tired….
yep my strength has dwindled.
I’m tired of being strong. Hey Black women are not suppose to admit that they are tired and not strong.
Well I’m saying it. I’m tired.
And I’m angry that I’m sick and gotta make some hard decisions soon.
What if I take radioactive treatment?
Will that kill my chances of ever having a baby? I know 35 and still haven’t, but
what if I meet that brother that I just love to death that I want to produce life with him?
What if….What if I go ahead with surgery
and hell shit surgery has it’s own consequences.
 My goal was to never ever have my
body cut open or any body part removed.
Now that is possibility. So I’m adding scared to the list with
tired and angry.

I learned that I inherited the disorder. My grandmother also has Graves Disease. 

I didn't know and so I lived with symptoms for 8 months
and never really thought to ask my mom about
our family health history. But I did and now have a better understanding of why and how?


My reason for this post is to say:

Learn your family health history!
And be proactive with your Doctor. My doctor misdiagnosed me twice,
I demanded tests and thus I finally got the correct diagnosis
And finally pay attention to your body if it seems weird check it out.
 DON’T dismiss symptoms!
One more finally, demand a full physical and mammogram yearly. 
Don't just get the typical tests....diabetes and cholesterol.
Demand  full blood and urine tests. Keep copies of your results!


I promise to get ONYXBeauty back up and running and post more often.

I’m still with you (just a little tired, angry and scared ) on your journey,

Tarshel